So I have a wall of overgrown Virginia Creeper- and I like it. But it sure looks crappy this time of year, aside from the neglect. So we are taking this opportunity to shear it back and really give it a good talking to. Once I'm sure it is as scaled back as it can get and I've gone through and given all the vines a little "tug" to make sure they are still suctioned on to the wall, we are going to zip tie a billion strands of twinkle lights to the vines. A BILLION.
We are going to make sure they are really in there so that when we do more pruning in summer we don't electrify ourselves or cause a black out in our neighborhood, because my new neighbors already look at the bowling balls that line the driveway like they are tiny meth labs.

Believe it or not, this is a during shot. It WAS even worse.
SO- we are going to cover it with lights and let the vines grow over the lights in summer and then it will be lit from within and a glowy. Next I need to come up with a plan to win over the neighbors.... I'll be accepting your evil plans in the forum.